Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

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Apparently service workers have to be perfect and nice and friendly all the time and having a bad day is a violation of customers' boundaries.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace, A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Set Boundaries, Find Peace, A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by

There were also some examples that weren't egregious but were still telling people what to do. Tawwab says herself to state things with "I first" language, and I guess that only extends to the first word of the sentence lol. But I feel like there are ways to state your need without telling someone exactly what to do to meet that need. Like instead of saying "you can only drink three drinks," say "I want both of us to spend time together fully aware and in the moment" or "I don’t like hanging out with you when you are drunk." Yes, this leaves how to meet the boundary up to interpretation but shouldn't boundaries be a discussion about how two people can meet each other's needs? I feel like it should be a conversation, but Tawwab clearly feels that you should state your needs, not explain yourself, and deal with the fallout, which just seems so miserable to me. Finally, it was a little confusing as to where one's boundaries end and where dictating another's behaviour begins. Some of the suggestions Tawwab gave were things like stating that someone can only have three drinks. There was no context to this and also, you cannot dictate someone else's behaviour. I was confused as to whether I should head this advice or not before deciding to disregard it completely. Set Boundaries, Find Peaceis a down-to-earth and practical guide on fully realizing your potential and giving yourself the freedom you deserve by clearly setting healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life, friendships, and relationships. Eye-opening and thoroughly engaging.”

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I also found it strange that nearly all of her examples of boundaries are telling what the other person should do. I'm going to share these in Tawwab's favorite format: a list. If you don’t have time for something that you want to do, you don’t have healthy boundaries with time."

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Open Library

Disclaimer: I received an advance copy of this book as part of the launch team, but I was not required to write a positive review. My thoughts are my own. One hundred and fifty MILLION adults in this country living in precarious financial situations is NOT an issue with individual boundaries, Nedra. IT IS SYSTEMIC.

My Book Notes

Without healthy boundaries, we aren’t able to fully live the life we want to live. This empowering book provides a powerful road map for establishing expectations and personal limits so that you can live your life with the safety, respect, and self-actualization that you deserve.” Another example where this was not considered. A given example of a micro breach was when a cashier started bagging someone's groceries in an aggressive way. While I agree that mishandling of one's possessions is a breach of boundaries, it was a really oddly specific example, and it is not mindful of the fact that often it is service staff whose boundaries get breached everyday by the sheer fact that they are not the ones in a position of power in this interaction. Dengan dugaan kalau aku akan menemukan cara menyampaikan batasanku & bagaimana kami mengelola batasan itu, ternyata buku ini melebihi ekspektasi. Nedra Glover Tawwab memberikan penjelasan yang bisa diaplikasikan dalam hubungan kerja dan keluarga (anak-orangtua).

Set Boundaries, Find Peace : A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

This book is a capitalist’s wet dream. It repeatedly drills into your head that you are responsible for every aspect of your life if you only take action. If you set boundaries, then your relationships will be healthy. If you don’t talk negatively about yourself, then people won’t talk negatively about you. If you work hard, then you will be rewarded. And I think a big reason this book is so popular is because a large number of people agree with this point of view of the world. They can’t or refuse to see the myriad of factors that affect the life circumstances of every person on this planet. Nggak cuma sekali, tapi berkali-kali ditanya hal serupa. Selain jadi mbak kantoran, aku juga mengelola komunitas, & (otw) menjadi kreator konten buku/bookfluencer. This is the boundary bible. Nedra teaches us not only how to set healthy boundaries but to be clear about our feelings and intentions. Finding peace requires showing up—Nedra has written the blueprint on how to not only show up but also do the work.” Book Genre: Adult, Counselling, ers, Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships, rs, Self Help, sers

Karena pondasi itu pula, aku terbiasa mengatakan "tidak" & menyampaikan batasanku kepada kolega. Menolak pekerjaan yg melawan "moral compass" hingga menyatakan kalau nggak bisa "diganggu" di luar jam kerja memang terkesan arogan kalau nggak tahu cara menyampaikannya. Tapi, kalau kita nggak belajar buat "saying in the right tone", ya orang lain akan merasa bebas "to violate our boundaries." If you want the most comprehensive, relevant, and relatable guide to setting boundaries, speaking your needs, and living a more peaceful life, Nedra Tawwab’s book on boundaries is for you.”