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Communion: The Female Search for Love

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bell hooks'un okuduğum ikinci kitabı. ilki "feminizm herkes içindir" idi. ilkinde gözlemlediğim meseleyi basit anlatma tavrı bunda da geçerli. Affirming our natural beauty before we adorn it in other ways keeps us from developing a dependency on artifice" (p. 119), even though I have this same feeling, I could see where it'd be disagreed with (thinking of Imogen Binnie's chapter on clothes/fashion) I mean, I guess that’s what makes a nonfiction book good, right? Is that it’s still storytelling? It still carries you along. So she really nails that. One other piece that I really like is that, of course, it’s entirely focused on women and how women find love and relationships, but she’s talking a lot about the feminist movement and about feminism. Um, and one thing she really gets into towards the end is how damaging patriarchy is for men and how it really cuts off men from having communion and from really having that sense of connectedness and belonging, um, and knowing with others people. Her discussion of love is wonderful and, I would say, flawless. She discusses attitudes like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," their roots in patriarchy, and the unfairness of both sides of the coin: teaching women that love and nurturing are their realm and they should accept that men won't get it, and teaching men that strength and silence and dominance are their realm and showing emotion or communicating on a deeper level are emasculating.

Intimate, revealing, provocative, Communion challenges every woman to courageously claim the search for love as the heroic journey we must all choose to be truly free. In her trademark commanding and lucid language, hooks explores the ways ideas about women and love were changed by the feminist movement, by women's full participation in the workforce, and by the culture of self-help, and reveals how women of all ages can bring love into every aspect of their lives, for all the years of their lives. A lot of people react to the statements in this book, and others like it, by yelling things like, "Not all men!" or "We live in a post-feminist world!" or "Don't disrespect people who are into kink!" or "Sex workers are good for society!" and so on and so forth. Lost is the fact that bell hooks, and writers like her, are discussing a power structure, not individual people. Hooks draws interesting links to the 21st century struggle for love that raises women up instead of oppresses, but at times the anecdotes from the feminist movement of the 70s did not offer much but reminiscence for a time that I didn't live through. One blue shiny thing I did get from this section is that if feminism rejects love outright then people looking for love have no where to find it except in oppressive cultural products, which could probably have been written in one chapter. Um, But then it also talks about friendship. So females, women finding, um, intense, lasting connecting friendship, um, and also kind of cross-generational relationships. So kind of every aspect of, um, of finding love and connection. And the title really says it all: communion it’s about, um, she could have equally as well, I think said connection, but that doesn’t imply the sort of deep level of connection that she really means kind of really knowing a whole person and feel known and seen as a whole person. And so she’s talking about how women find that. And, of course, the whole thing is colored by patriarchy. So her whole message is how women find communion with other people or fail to find communion with other people in our patriarchal culture. So these are, think of them as essays, I guess, although they do flow together, they’re not standalone, but they do kind of feel like essays.Intimate, revealing, provocative, Communion challenges every female to courageously claim the search for love as the heroic journey she must choose to be truly free. Silencing our fears about becoming women who love too much, Communion answers all of our questions about the place of love in a woman’s life. When truth teller and careful writer bell hooks offers a book, I like to be standing at the bookshop when it opens.” –Maya Angelou Ich bin recht unvoreingenommen an dieses Buch gegangen, da es für mich das erste Buch von bell hooks war. The "romantic friendships" chapter near the end was my favorite part of this whole book. (the chapter on women and aging is good, too, though)Most resonating for me. But it's about "romantic friendships" with other women, but it'd be really interesting to read about having this with men. A bit more complicated, jealousies from the guy friend's partners, women in competition, etc. How to deal? Bell hooks shares that the original work of love is the cultivation of care, knowledge, respect, and responsibility in relation to the self.

The vast majority of us have flesh on our bones. I wish I could report that we all love that flesh. Some of us do. Most of us do not. A great many of us simply give up, engaging in a process of negative acceptance. By that I mean that an individual woman may not like her looks, her weight, but ceases trying to change herself so that she no longer confroms to conventional sexist aesthetic standards, because to do so lessens her anxiety and stress. But she is still not self-loving. We cannot negate our bodies and love them. Ouch. If this isn't me to a T.

At the library

really really enjoyed this one. i realized i have read basically zero books about feminism???? fail! Some of these "truths" had me physically wincing at how cliched they are. "Daddy issues" and "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself" are all ugly concepts that rear their heads throughout the course of this book. And personally, yeah: for me, true love didn't come until I stopped compulsively seeking it. I admit that only once I started focusing on prioritizing and improving myself did I attract the right person into my life. But maybe that's just coincidence, because correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation. Maybe it wasn't actually anything I did; maybe it was just timing. Buy Communion: The Female Search for Love (Love Song to the Nation) pdfAdvertising eBooks Buy Communion: The Female Search for Love (Love Song to the Nation) pdf bell hooks also includes some memoir material in this book, detailing parts of her life I had never read about or learned about before. I enjoyed that material a great deal. bell hooks is such an incredibly brave, incredibly fierce and inspiring feminist. It always ennobles me to read her work.

The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. There was a lot less I disagreed with in this book, and I could see she made more of an attempt to be LGBTQ+ inclusive (although weak and insufficient). Worum geht es? Bell Hooks befasst sich im Buch mit dem Thema Liebe. Liebe in all ihren Facetten: Selbstliebe, romantische Liebe, Liebe unter Schwestern und unter anderem das Verhältnis von Liebe zu Dingen wie Arbeit und Macht wird ebenfalls thematisiert. Die Abhandlung der Themen passiert dabei immer vor dem Hintergrund des Feminismus. Anybody who identifies as female, um, including very young people. And I do wish I’d read this in college and was when I was first hearing about bell hooks, um, which would have been in like 2006 to 2010 when this book would have been newer. Um, I wish I’d read this book in college. I’m not sure. And she says this too, at the end of the book, she’s not sure if she’d known all this stuff if it really would have affected her path necessarily. Still, she could have gone down her whole path, maybe shortened some of the worst periods, um, a little bit, but, um, kind of gone down at all with kind of a greater awareness of self and her own worth. Um, so I think that’s really powerful. This will definitely be a book that I keep on my bookshelves is like a thing to have my daughter start reading when she’s in her teenage years. awareness of problems alone is not a solution. To solve the problem of _______________, we have to critique sexist thinking, militantly oppose it, and simultaneously create new images, new ways of seeing ourselves" (p. 114, yeah good reminder)elinize ağır, teorik, terimler içeren, anlamaya çalışırken yorulacağınız bir kitap almıyorsunuz bence. yazarın da buna dikkat ettiğini düşünüyorum açıkçası. kadınların okurken eğitim, kültür, birikim seviyesi çok önemli olmadan anlayabileceği kitaplar yazmaya çalışıyor ki kitaplarında yer yer kendisinin de şikayetlendiği "teoride iyiydi güzeldi, yaşarken hiç öyle olmadı, kimse feminist pratiğin günlük hayatta nasıl uygulanacağından bahsetmedi" minvalinde bahsettiği kısımları var. bu yüzden kendisini bu kadar seviyor olabilirim. kendisinin de kitapta bahsettiği " hetoroseksüel bir feminist kadının erkek partneri ile yaşadığı cinsel alandaki özgürlük, hayır deme hakkı üzerine yazılmış makale bulamazsınız ama bu sıkıntıları yaşayan feminist kadınlar vardı ama kimse bahsetmedi" gibi durumları ve buna benzer örnekleri anlatarak hayat pratiğinin içinden anlatmaya çalışması feminizmi benim için değerli kılıyor kitaplarını ve kendisini. Years later, when I was ready to leave this relationship, I planned my exit much as one might plan leaving a job" (p. 62) (a lot of work and love themes linked together in this book) Book Genre: Essays, Feminism, Gender, Love, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Relationships, Self Help, Social Justice, Social Movements, Womens, Writing What has the feminist movement done for relationships? Sure, the civil uprising has led to more respect for women in the workplace. What, though, has feminism done to help women suffering from intimacy deficiency in the bedroom? Bell Hooks seeks to answer these questions and more in her book. Maybe include more women, though, I get she's writing for women over 30, mainly women who love men, and stuff. That's cool. . .I probably feel a bit more "sad" afterward reading this to be honest. It didn't give me the same feeling of power/energy to love like All About Love did—what were my illusions? is it ok to be guarded? is it time for me to leave the office and go home? (20 more minutes)

When truth teller and careful writer bell hooks offers a book, I like to be standing at the bookshop when it opens." –Maya Angelou i just loved how she talk about the importance of mutual love built on respect, responsibility, accountability, etc. because care alone is not enough. also one of my fav quotes “Making a relationship “work” is not the same as “creating love.”Um, and so for women and men trying to be in heterosexual relationships, this is a real problem that kind of both parties are cut off from really a dreaming, achieving connection, um, in part because of patriarchy. And so I really appreciated that at the end because as I’ve gotten older and, um, of course, I’m married to a man, but then I also have several really good male friends who are really struggling with relationships. And, uh, it is just so easy to see, you know, kind of how damaging our cultural expectations of what masculinity is and what being a man in a relationship is how damaging those are and really how hard it is to break away from them. So she does, um, cover quite a bit of that as well, really throughout this book, but I would say more towards the end. I breezed through this book in two days, and enjoyed it immensely. bell hooks is full of hard truths, but she presents her thoughts in such a way that her work is uplifting, compassionate, and hopeful. The voice of bell hooks rings with moral rectitude, but it is also a voice that is full of kindness, openness, and wholehearted forgiveness. A passion for love had to be kept secret—unstated. To speak one's longing was to risk shame. Those who knew love enjoyed its delights in private, and those who did not suffered in silence" (p. 59). We continue to put in place the anti-sexist thinking and practice which affirms the reality that females can achieve self-actualization and success without dominating one another.” I’m just throwing that out there. Um, in terms of tone, this book is amazing. It’s essentially a very candid conversation from like a close female mentor was kind of how, how I was feeling it. It’s like, this is the sort of female mentor that I wish I had in my life who could just sit down maybe with a glass of wine and just very lucidly. And candidly, just say like, this is how the world works. Um, and like here’s, uh, here’s what you should do in response to it. Um, so I think that style is just really lovely. It makes this book very easy to read, even though it’s talking about some really tough topics and really complicated topics. Um, her writing is just so simple and clear and beautiful that you can just follow her message consistently.

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