Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder

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While Dr. Mate does give some credence to the genetics of ADD, he pretty much leaves the implications of this behind as he goes into a long description of failed or inadequate parental attachments being the primary reason for ADD symptomatology (as if the parents of ADD kids didn't feel guilty enough about passing on a genetic inheritance they most likely didn't know they had). Even if this was not the doctor's intent, it is so pervasive in this book that one cannot help but feel that if a child or an adult exhibits ADD symptoms, that there is "someone" to blame, not just for the genetic inheritance but for bad parenting." This book was an eye-opener for me as I realized that my children needed my husband and me to invite them into a relationship with us by inviting them to spend time with us. When children (especially kids with ADHD) beg and plead with their parents to spend time with them, it does not count in their eyes. A friend of mine who is a parent asked me about this book, and this is what I told her. About me: I am not a parent, and I have ADD.

What I really reflected though was that many of the suggestion for the ways you should specifically parent a child with ADHD would actually be beneficial for many children. I tried a couple of the tactics with my 5-year-old (things like instead of being nagged to join in their play actually ask if you can join in, or treating a temper tantrum as a fear response) and could instantly see a welcome change in behaviour. When we try to explain today’s epidemic of obesity in countries like the United States, we look at changing lifestyles, not genes. So let’s apply that lens to ADD. Recall what we said about infants and their environment. Attunement, the emotional bond between child and caregiver, plays a critical role in cognitive development. The question is, has something changed in the parenting environment in recent decades which might be getting in the way of attunement?A friend who has rampant ADHD texted me once while she was crying, saying that all she wanted was a hug. I wasn't able to do anything, but suggested she ask her parents. "That's not something they do. I'd be embarrassed." she replied. Her parents weren't abusive. They just didn't speak her love language. What we mean here is an automatic “tuning out.” The mind is absent when its attention is required to complete tasks or process instructions. Inattentiveness takes many forms. A person with ADD might ask someone a question and zone out as they begin answering it. They might look up from a book and suddenly realize they can’t recall a single word they’ve read. Or they might enter a room and discover that they have no idea what they wanted to do in it.

Another feature worth mentioning is Maté’s advocacy for the ongoing cultivation of self-understanding, self-care, and self-acceptance. As a person with many friends and family members who struggle with ADD every day, I found Maté’s focus on this topic encouraging, and see no reason why it’s not applicable to people in general. Everyone’s weird, after all, and the goal should be to comprehend, welcome, and grow that weirdness into something vibrant and beautiful: Shows how “tuning out” and distractibility are the psychological products of life experience, from in utero onwards Purposely inviting the child to spend time with one or both parents regularly can calm some of the child’s fears and lessen some separation anxiety most children have. Never at rest the mind of the ADHD adult flits about like some deranged bird that can light here or there for a while but is perched no-where long enough to make a home.” Gabor Mate is a revered physician who specializes in neurology, psychiatry and psychology - and himself has ADD. With wisdom gained through years of medical practice and research, Scattered Minds is a must-read for parents - and for anyone interested how experiences in infancy shape the biology and psychology of the human brain.ADHD children often do not believe their parents want to spend time with them because there is an interruption in the parent-child attachment. It seemed to me that I had found the passage of those dark recesses of my mind from which chaos issues without warning, hurling thoughts, plans, emotions and intentions in all directions. I felt I had discovered what it was that had always kept me from attaining psychological integrity: wholeness, the reconciliation and joining together of the disharmonious fragments of my mind… Then he shifts over to speak about epigenetics and how past history affects the genes, which in turn creates changes in the brain of a developing fetus and a child is born with ADD.

Thank you, Miles, for your thoughtful review. I do feel Emma makes an excellent point, and would like to reiterate that the current scientific understanding of ADHD includes a neurodiverse physiology, with neurotransmitter levels and processing and other elements of brain function that differ observably from those of a so-called neurotypical brain. ADHD is as heritable as height, and occurs across cultures. Different cultures may take different moral or social stances on many of the behaviors associated with ADHD, and might not all be as punitive or shaming as the dominant culture in the U.S., of course. He also gives readers a lot of hope that people with ADD can find peace and live wonderful lives. I've appreciated a slew of evidence-based recommendations for managing and healing my own ADD, and I had a breakthrough as a result of reading them; that's worth the price of admission alone. I haven't yet read the recommendations about children, but my guess is that there's equally helpful information about supporting a child with ADD.The book was published in 1999 and it feels dated. Mate calls it ADD whereas today it has been classified into a number of different types but most generally talked about as ADHD. I’ve changed it in this review so it makes more sense in 2022. I also found the science behind the genetic and biological elements of the impairment more compelling than the evidence he gave on it having such a strong environment aspect. The environmental aspect (basically that difficult family dynamics will trigger a predisposed ADHD likelihood) felt far more anecdotal. The parent taking responsibility for the relationship; demonstrating daily that they want the child’s company. They do not wait to be invited in – they ask to join in. “The hunger in a child is eased by the parents seizing every possible opportunity to devote positive attention to the child precisely when the child has not demanded it.” So, our collective workaholism––whether chosen or coerced––could be one of the main drivers of the ADD epidemic. Combine that with the meteoric rise of social media and its attendant mental health risks; the capitalistic incentives of pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs like Ritalin, Adderall, and Dexedrine; and the profit margins of insurance companies that act as gatekeepers to “legitimate” treatment; and you’ve got a real mess on your hands. All of this is purely speculative, so take it with a grain of salt, but it was interesting and fun for me to knit these threads together and I thought it might be helpful to share this part of my learning and exploration process.

I know, I know. You're reconsidering your opinion of my mental abilities and private beliefs. Before you make a final decision, let me share a few experiences. The world is much more ready to accept someone who is different and comfortable with it than someone desperately seeking to conform by denying himself. It’s the self-rejection others react against, much more than the differentness. So the solution for the adult is not to fit in, but to accept his inability to conform. The child’s uniqueness has to first find a welcome in the heart of the parent. He covers how ADD develops, how it changes or doesn't change, in adulthood, how it can be helped and healed, and how we can adjust to prevent it from occurring.he introduces concepts like 'counter will' and 'unconditional positive resolve', which provide great insight and aid in the process of self-understanding and self-healing from the symptoms of ADD. My only real point of contention is the author's assertion that tuning out and dissociation are the same thing. Sure, they can coexist at different levels at the same time, but in my experience they definitely are not the same thing.I don’t think Maté goes so far as to argue that ADHD is definitively caused by “poor socialization or parenting,” as you put it. Perhaps I accidentally misrepresented his position in that regard. He doesn’t deny the potential role of biology/genetics here. Instead, I think he’s suggesting that socialization and parenting (primarily attachment dynamics) are major factors that can ameliorate and/or exacerbate ADHD when it presents in young people and adults. And since these are psychosocial factors over which we have more control compared to biology/genetics, I think that’s why he’s so focused on them. They’re not the only factors that matter, but when it comes to treatment they might be our strongest leverage points, especially for individuals and families who are not interested in using psychotropic medications. This book enlightens parents, teenagers, teachers, and adults with and without ADHD. Dr. Gabor Maté shares heart-wrenching stories from his childhood and medical practice while painting a vivid picture of his adult life with ADHD. Above all, this book offers tools and hope along with a deeper understanding of the controversial diagnosis of ADHD. I have ADHD. No one was surprised when I was diagnosed, as it was evident from the 'get go' as my mother says. Yet I could not and still cannot find myself in this book. Unless their parents (or primarycaregiverss) ask the child to spend time together when the child is not whining and pleading for time with the parent, children chalk up time spent together as something they received because they finally begged and pleaded enough. At my next therapy session, my therapist asked if I had read the book and I said yes, and that it had resonated with me. She asked what resonated, and I said, "Well, if I do have ADD, it would explain my entire life. It would fill in all the blanks and areas that my history with depression and anxiety don't account for, that I always tried to make them fit into to explain something that didn't make sense." Something that didn't make sense because, without the missing piece of ADD, it quite literally couldn't make sense. Then we discussed why, etc, blah blah. At the end of the appointment I promised her I would talk to my physician about a diagnosis.